I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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