i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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