Your face is a jimmy john
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
