Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
