I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
