i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
