More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
