This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
