Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
