You smell like stripper and shame
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
