yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
