Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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