from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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