dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
