just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
