Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
