There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
