Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
