Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
