Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
