GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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