I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i came on her dog
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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