I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
