everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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