I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
