please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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