i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
