He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
