Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
