is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
