It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
