He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
