Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
