please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
