Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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