I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
