There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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