Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
