My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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