I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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