your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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