No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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