i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
