I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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