I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
