Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
