apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it's great music for shaving your balls
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
