wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Randomize
