Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
