please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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